Post by tt on Oct 12, 2005 15:59:11 GMT -5
Last Friday I spent a night of debauchery in Storm Lake. Afterwards I headed back to Cherokee along Hwy 7.
As I was leaving Aurelia, I turned upburptly south onto a gravel road and headed to a familiar, yet very haunted cemetery.
I had in the back of my Minivan, a never before tested "Tipping Table" one I had bought at a recent auction here in Cherokee. The table had caught my eye as it had an emblem on the table top. It was of a black Horse that had a lighting bolt running down it's neck. The round picture, was encircled with the product name, "Lighting Stead Card Tables!".
I thought it would be a good test to try it out in this cemetery.
Normally you need 3 people to get a "Tipping Table" to cooperate, but in the past I have had success in summoning the Spirits in this cemetery to help me activate other Tables, and I hoped that this night they would not let me down!
I wheeled the minivan in through the brick columns that adorn the sides of the cemetery's entrance. And drove briskly into the dimly lit cemetery, following the drive to the north under a canopy of evergreens that led to the older more haunted section of the cemetery. I got out of my minivan, I needed to pee badly, so I annoited the ground with a quick leak. I then fished my Tipping Table from the back of the minivan, and quickly set it up on the solid gravel drive. Next I grabbed a folding metal chair and sat down behind the Table.
I offered a quick blessing, summoning all the good Spirits in the cemetery to come and join me for a session of Table Tipping. I stared up into the night sky, and fixed my gaze onto the dimly lit moon as it languished behind the clouds, and began to chant "Table up, Table Up, Table Up"! In no time flat the opposite side of the table began to quiver, and dance in the gravel. I continued chanting, becoming even more empowered by the Table, saying with force of presence, in a loud and determined voice, "TABLE UP! TABLE UP! TABLE UP!"
The legs on the Table began to enfuse with an energy I have never before witnessed when "Table Tipping" with anyone else!
There must have been a hundred Spirits with their hands on the Table chanting right along with me! The legs of the Table began to crack with a sharpness that sounded like gun fire! The Table rose high on it's legs, like a Stallion rearing up on it's hind legs! The front table legs thrashed, and pawed at the night sky! It's hind legs were jerky forward, it was all I could do to hang on to the Table! I didn't dare let loose! I was so engulfed in the energy, and the behavior of the Table; that I threw myself down on top of the Table trying to force it back down to the ground!
But this only seemed to enhance, and invigorate the table as it again reared to life! All four legs began to splinter apart half way down the legs. The front legs nearly severed from the energy as it pushed up through the splintered wood, causing the lower section of the legs to whip wildly back and forth as the the upper section continued to paw towards the night sky. Just then the back legs lept upward with a resilient leap! As they did the front legs plunged downward to the ground! I knew I was doomed to crash and burn in the turf below me!
But the front legs held firm when they drove their metal points into the sod! Again the Table lunged forward and upward, kicking off hard with the back legs! I was still hanging on for dear life! The table smacked into a tombstone infront of me! Thankfully it was a short one, but it didn't impede the movement of the Table, as it was being drawn towards something, it was as if the table had come to life!
Again the Table rose against the stone, pawing at the rocky structure it lept up on top of the stone, with me clinging to it's back! With a violent thrusting jerk the Table rose up off the tombstone and plunged into the now frigid night air!
The Moon finally broke free of the clouds, the moonlight thrust it's shimmering light on to the spectical of the thrusting Table which had now become my unwittingly voracious stead! Or I had become it's unwitting and frigthened rider.
The Table bounded across the cemetery galloping and hoping from tombstone to tombstone. We were just ot the edge of the far side of the cemetery near the road,when the Table wildly swung upward leaping and twisting violently as it rose higher, nearly to the tree top level.. It turned and dove back down along the cemetery's drive, the rythmic pounding of thunderous hooves roared in my ears and nearly vibrated my white knuckled grip loose from this beast!
It was clear that my Stead was blinded by a rage and fury un beknowst to me of it's origins! My Stead gave no indication that it intended to turn to the left in the direction that the gravel drive led. In the final seconds before crashing head long into a Large white marble headstone, the Table leaped gracefully and effortlessly over the headstone, but it's hind legs snagged on the marble cross on the headstone. Causing my Stead to falter in it's stride, and we tumbled across two smaller headstones, before crashing headlong into a large Zinc Tombstone.
I was knocked unconscious for a few minutes. Blood raced down my anguished face, from where it had made contact with the rough surface of the metal tombstone. I looked dazily at the foot of the zinc tombstone, and there covered in my blood was an emblem of a lightening bolt. Beneath me lay my demonized stead, dead and crumpled. It's legs splintered, broken and twisted. It's table top having succombed to my weight was mashed and mangled, it's surface was scraped with claw marks. ( It's confounding to me, to understand how a man can leave claw marks, when he is a chronic nail biter ). But none the less I drove my fingers through the tables top, and raked them down it's back. Clearly in the final steps of our mad and crazy ride I had nearly slipped off the back of the table. My claw marks were a testiment to the wild ride we had taken.
Slowly I rolled onto my back, wondering how I would ever be able to stand up. My knees where raw, my pants were shredded from the knees to the hem, from bouncing and scraping across the tops so many tombstones. My knuckles were stinging, with the pain of bruises, and lacerations. I slid my back up against a nearby tombstone, using the palms of my hands I crawled upward crab fashion, in a back stance, to get to my feet. I grimmaced with pain at every step I took. Every muscle and bone in my body ached in a firey wash of pain.
I cursed the Demons that had possessed my table, and transposed it into the insanely mean beast that they had! Now it lay in a pile of so much wood and paper that it's only use now would be for kindling tinder, for a firey funeral which it so desperately deserved. Struggling for what seemed like hours, I made my way back the short distance to my minivan. I crawled inside exhausted, I searched a supply box that I keep wedged between the bucket seats, to find an old lighter I had, I was hell bent on putting my stead out of it's misery, while destorying it a fiery funeral!
To tired to move, I slumped down across the bucket seats and fell fast asleep.
When I came to. I was in bed!
How strange I thought? I had no recollection of ever driving home. I sat up in bed. I moaned in pain, but it was my usual moan of pain, feeling the affects of an aging body. I was still fully dressed, though my pants weren't tattered, my knuckles weren't worn bare, and my face didn't seem to be the least bit bloody. Confused and dismayed at my where abouts. I decided to check out my minivan.
I popped the hatchback and there lay the same Card Table I had bought at the auction, totally unscathed!
Sensing relief that what I had expereinced, was nothing more than a very bad dream. I went inside to take a much needed hot shower! Afterwards I wiped clean the steam clouded mirror above my sink. To my amazement in the upper right hand corner of my forehead was an impression and bruise of a lighting bolt! The same as was on the base of the Zinc Tombstone at the Aurelia cemetery!
So now that you know my story, the next time you see me, words needn't pass between our lips! The lack of a bruise on my forehead, will tell you the truth of this story!
TT
As I was leaving Aurelia, I turned upburptly south onto a gravel road and headed to a familiar, yet very haunted cemetery.
I had in the back of my Minivan, a never before tested "Tipping Table" one I had bought at a recent auction here in Cherokee. The table had caught my eye as it had an emblem on the table top. It was of a black Horse that had a lighting bolt running down it's neck. The round picture, was encircled with the product name, "Lighting Stead Card Tables!".
I thought it would be a good test to try it out in this cemetery.
Normally you need 3 people to get a "Tipping Table" to cooperate, but in the past I have had success in summoning the Spirits in this cemetery to help me activate other Tables, and I hoped that this night they would not let me down!
I wheeled the minivan in through the brick columns that adorn the sides of the cemetery's entrance. And drove briskly into the dimly lit cemetery, following the drive to the north under a canopy of evergreens that led to the older more haunted section of the cemetery. I got out of my minivan, I needed to pee badly, so I annoited the ground with a quick leak. I then fished my Tipping Table from the back of the minivan, and quickly set it up on the solid gravel drive. Next I grabbed a folding metal chair and sat down behind the Table.
I offered a quick blessing, summoning all the good Spirits in the cemetery to come and join me for a session of Table Tipping. I stared up into the night sky, and fixed my gaze onto the dimly lit moon as it languished behind the clouds, and began to chant "Table up, Table Up, Table Up"! In no time flat the opposite side of the table began to quiver, and dance in the gravel. I continued chanting, becoming even more empowered by the Table, saying with force of presence, in a loud and determined voice, "TABLE UP! TABLE UP! TABLE UP!"
The legs on the Table began to enfuse with an energy I have never before witnessed when "Table Tipping" with anyone else!
There must have been a hundred Spirits with their hands on the Table chanting right along with me! The legs of the Table began to crack with a sharpness that sounded like gun fire! The Table rose high on it's legs, like a Stallion rearing up on it's hind legs! The front table legs thrashed, and pawed at the night sky! It's hind legs were jerky forward, it was all I could do to hang on to the Table! I didn't dare let loose! I was so engulfed in the energy, and the behavior of the Table; that I threw myself down on top of the Table trying to force it back down to the ground!
But this only seemed to enhance, and invigorate the table as it again reared to life! All four legs began to splinter apart half way down the legs. The front legs nearly severed from the energy as it pushed up through the splintered wood, causing the lower section of the legs to whip wildly back and forth as the the upper section continued to paw towards the night sky. Just then the back legs lept upward with a resilient leap! As they did the front legs plunged downward to the ground! I knew I was doomed to crash and burn in the turf below me!
But the front legs held firm when they drove their metal points into the sod! Again the Table lunged forward and upward, kicking off hard with the back legs! I was still hanging on for dear life! The table smacked into a tombstone infront of me! Thankfully it was a short one, but it didn't impede the movement of the Table, as it was being drawn towards something, it was as if the table had come to life!
Again the Table rose against the stone, pawing at the rocky structure it lept up on top of the stone, with me clinging to it's back! With a violent thrusting jerk the Table rose up off the tombstone and plunged into the now frigid night air!
The Moon finally broke free of the clouds, the moonlight thrust it's shimmering light on to the spectical of the thrusting Table which had now become my unwittingly voracious stead! Or I had become it's unwitting and frigthened rider.
The Table bounded across the cemetery galloping and hoping from tombstone to tombstone. We were just ot the edge of the far side of the cemetery near the road,when the Table wildly swung upward leaping and twisting violently as it rose higher, nearly to the tree top level.. It turned and dove back down along the cemetery's drive, the rythmic pounding of thunderous hooves roared in my ears and nearly vibrated my white knuckled grip loose from this beast!
It was clear that my Stead was blinded by a rage and fury un beknowst to me of it's origins! My Stead gave no indication that it intended to turn to the left in the direction that the gravel drive led. In the final seconds before crashing head long into a Large white marble headstone, the Table leaped gracefully and effortlessly over the headstone, but it's hind legs snagged on the marble cross on the headstone. Causing my Stead to falter in it's stride, and we tumbled across two smaller headstones, before crashing headlong into a large Zinc Tombstone.
I was knocked unconscious for a few minutes. Blood raced down my anguished face, from where it had made contact with the rough surface of the metal tombstone. I looked dazily at the foot of the zinc tombstone, and there covered in my blood was an emblem of a lightening bolt. Beneath me lay my demonized stead, dead and crumpled. It's legs splintered, broken and twisted. It's table top having succombed to my weight was mashed and mangled, it's surface was scraped with claw marks. ( It's confounding to me, to understand how a man can leave claw marks, when he is a chronic nail biter ). But none the less I drove my fingers through the tables top, and raked them down it's back. Clearly in the final steps of our mad and crazy ride I had nearly slipped off the back of the table. My claw marks were a testiment to the wild ride we had taken.
Slowly I rolled onto my back, wondering how I would ever be able to stand up. My knees where raw, my pants were shredded from the knees to the hem, from bouncing and scraping across the tops so many tombstones. My knuckles were stinging, with the pain of bruises, and lacerations. I slid my back up against a nearby tombstone, using the palms of my hands I crawled upward crab fashion, in a back stance, to get to my feet. I grimmaced with pain at every step I took. Every muscle and bone in my body ached in a firey wash of pain.
I cursed the Demons that had possessed my table, and transposed it into the insanely mean beast that they had! Now it lay in a pile of so much wood and paper that it's only use now would be for kindling tinder, for a firey funeral which it so desperately deserved. Struggling for what seemed like hours, I made my way back the short distance to my minivan. I crawled inside exhausted, I searched a supply box that I keep wedged between the bucket seats, to find an old lighter I had, I was hell bent on putting my stead out of it's misery, while destorying it a fiery funeral!
To tired to move, I slumped down across the bucket seats and fell fast asleep.
When I came to. I was in bed!
How strange I thought? I had no recollection of ever driving home. I sat up in bed. I moaned in pain, but it was my usual moan of pain, feeling the affects of an aging body. I was still fully dressed, though my pants weren't tattered, my knuckles weren't worn bare, and my face didn't seem to be the least bit bloody. Confused and dismayed at my where abouts. I decided to check out my minivan.
I popped the hatchback and there lay the same Card Table I had bought at the auction, totally unscathed!
Sensing relief that what I had expereinced, was nothing more than a very bad dream. I went inside to take a much needed hot shower! Afterwards I wiped clean the steam clouded mirror above my sink. To my amazement in the upper right hand corner of my forehead was an impression and bruise of a lighting bolt! The same as was on the base of the Zinc Tombstone at the Aurelia cemetery!
So now that you know my story, the next time you see me, words needn't pass between our lips! The lack of a bruise on my forehead, will tell you the truth of this story!
TT